My New Year’s Resolution For My Hair

Just thinking back on my transitioning hair process & the countless months that I spent trying to find the perfect hair product for my 4c texture, I must say that I feel almost 100% pleased with the outcome.

To be honest, 2017, from my hair’s perspective, was some what difficult, yet rewarding at the same time. I remember being a “newbie” in the Fall of 2014, with not the slightest ounce of wisdom about natural hair. I just saw it as something that all the Melanin women at my university were doing, so I just hopped on the natural train, so to speak.

I had crochet braids in my hair a little over a month before I began classes at Ole Miss, & I thought I was poppin’ for real, because protective styles was what I was so use to seeing in my home town. I must say that when those braids came down, I was thrilled, but nervous. I saw so many of the ladies with natural hair, so I wanted that, & I got that!

It’s definitely poppin’!



Fast forward to the year 2017, yes, my hair has grown in more ways than one. As a matter of fact, I’m the only person that I know who literally has 3 different hair textures in her hair. I’M FORREAL! It’s terrible to work with at times, but ever since I got my silk press for graduation back in May, I’ve noticed that there’s been a slight texture change in my hair. It’s longer & I can run my fingers through my hair easier than I use to. Even my “kitchen in the back,” seems more smooth and silky. Strange, huh? I actually look forward to my wash days, where as earlier in 2017, before I graduated in May, I LOATHED THOSE DAYS ever so much! Those days were hell, but now that I’ve worked up a faster & easier hair care routine, those wash days are Heaven sent.

In 2018, I want to practice not being lazy with my hair; caring for it more. At night, instead of just placing a black silk bonnet on my head at night, I’d like to actually begin to retwist it. It may work or it may not, but I’m so willing to try. Hopefully, I’ll find more hair products to work that are hopefully not as expensive as what I’ve been using. I want my hair to be longer, thicker and fuller. By the grace of God, that’ll all happen in 2018.

Lastly, this year, I’d like to practice not reacting while I’m getting judged when I’m approached. For example: “Oh, you need to perm that mess!” Yes, someone actually said that me, an individual with African features at that.

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African textures at large


I hope that for any and everyone who happens to be natural, that you all will continue to embrace your natural hair. God gave us this hair type for a reason, & we shouldn’t feel embarrassed or lesser than simply because we chose to embrace our African roots. So, I want to challenge all the natural, African Queens on here, in 2018, learn to embrace your natural hair more. Be more comfortable with your hair texture. Just because others may not understand our natural hair, doesn’t by any means mean that we should feel ashamed with what was given to us at birth.

Natural hair, or at least I noticed, that natural hair began to pick up in 2009, & in 2012 is when I realized that it was taking the cosmetology world by storm. Embrace your natural curls, locks or etc. Embrace those features, because if you don’t accept & embrace your uniqueness, no one else will!

Be blessed my beautiful naturalistas! 🙂

We Can Still Slay this Natural

I believe that I speak for most women when I say that I loathe figuring out what to do with my hair in the morning. There are days when I want nothing more than to go out for the whole day & wear nothing on my head, besides my bonnet. However, that isn’t necessarily socially acceptable by others, & yes, I’ve noticed the annoying stares from people looking at me all upside my head. But am I bothered, nope! I’ve honestly gotten use to the stares, & I’ve even had the opportunity of seeing countless women of colour who may have felt the same way that I did for the day, judging by the large black, brown or multi – colored bonnets on their heads.

If people only realized the planning, time & effort that it took to twist our hair, then they should understand our (women of colour) wants & needs to wear a bonnet, right?!… Of course, that isn’t always true. Nevertheless, just because you may see us with a bonnet on our heads in Wal- Mart or Target, that doesn’t mean that we don’t know how to slay in corporate American or in any other professional field of our choice.

Let me tell ya, now that the seasons have changed tremendously, our hair gets dryer much quick than in the warmer seasons. Our hair routines change up & switch, almost overnight it seems. So, I’m going to walk you through my Fall/Winter time weekly hair routines:

For the most part, I usually, I like to wash on a Wednesday or Friday.

Step 1: Grab the best non sulfate shampoo that I can find, & wash my hair two to three times.

Step 2: Rinse the shampoo out of my hair, & then add conditioner. Let the conditioner sit for about 5 minutes, & then proceed to rinse the conditioner out.

Step 3: Part hair straight down the middle & then in between, so that I’m working with 4 sections. But as I’m working with one particular section, grab 3 pony tails & move the other 3 parted sections out of my way.

Step 4: Grab my trusted hair spray bottle (consists of water and coconut oil), & spray the individual section & comb it out. ** I do this with all the sections, by the way! **

Step 5: Grab my Shea Butter, Shea Moisture Curl Enhancing Smoothie & Coconut Oil & began to twist, tirelessly.

Step 6: Once I’ve done all these steps to each section of my hair, then I grab my Oil Sheen and spray just a little bit on my hair. Finally, my trusted black bonnet is ready to make its grand entrance back on my head.

As I lay down & try to fall asleep, yes, the coconut oil does get on my pillows, & it can be irritating. However, I’ve learned to just live with it.

When I wake up the next morning to start my day, & as much as I’d like to go the entire day, no matter if I’m going into a professional – like setting, the bonnet has to come off. I grad the nearest edge control and toothbrush, & I began to slay my edges for the gods honey! After that, I usually would put a tie around my head to lay my edges down (no, I don’t do this every time.)

As much as I might not like doing my hair the number of times that I do it, I know it has to get done. Regardless of what anyone says, I know my hair is beat after a great wash or treatment (Yes, natural girls do get hair treatments.) Natural hair is still professional hair, regardless of it’s texture. Many of you who’ve read my blogs know that I have 4c texture, which is the kinkiest form of natural hair.

Hair shouldn’t even be an issue in corporate America or in any setting, but unfortunately, it is. While some professional companies are perfectly fine with the texture of natural hair, other companies feel as though it’s inappropriate, which couldn’t be any further from the truth. 2017 is almost over, & it’s ridiculous to think that while researching different relocation opportunities & setting up interviews in Corporate America, yes that’s where I will be working, that my hair texture is always going to be in the back of my mind. Will they hate my look? Will I get penalize for my kinks? Will they think that, “Well, her hair is unprofessional, so she must be as well?” Will I get called into the office to meet with the director/supervisor because I chose to slay a protective style for the month? All of these questions & then some always seems to pop in my head, & I began to get so nervous while going to job interviews.


Regardless of what non African Americans think, this natural is slayed! To be honest, my self esteem is indeed tied into the texture of my hair. I feel so alive when I wear a fresh twist out. Before graduating from Ole Miss, I knew that I had to slay my natural hair, because all the other girls did that. I noticed how some of the sistas at my university rocked a gorgeous twist out & I had to get the tea on how that was possible to do every day.

All in all, regardless of opposing opinions, this natural will always be slayed when I have to present myself in a professional setting.

** By the way, to any & all inquiring minds, when I’m in Walmart & there is in fact a bonnet on my head, it’s because of one of the these two reason:

  1. My hair looks a hot mess & it’s wash day, or wash day is coming up very soon,


2.   I just did my twists, & there is a strong possibility that my hair is still wet.














The Girl With the Bonnet; Just Let Me Be Great

I’m just bracing you guys with a little bit of hair humor! By the way, if you’ve never worn a satin cap (bonnet) on your head, then this blog post is probably not for you anyways.

Regardless of what your ethnic African minority you are, if you are indeed a woman of colour, then you’ve had the glorious opportunity of wearing a satin bonnet on your head. Whether it’s a quick run to Walmart, spending anywhere from 30 minutes to 1 hour & 30 minutes in town running errands, that satin cap has been on your head a few times. On those days where I have to run quick errands in town, & for some reason I’m not feeling like the African Queen that I am, well you guessed it folks, that bonnet is going on my head; I feel no shame whatsoever.

There have been so many times that I’d go into a store (Wal-Mart) with my bonnet on my head, & I’d always pray before I got out of my car, “God, please don’t let me run into anyone that I know, but don’t necessarily feel like lookin’ at today!” God with His sense of humor, for the most part, would always let me see someone in the store that I knew, but didn’t want to look at, at that particular moment. See, the Lord is funny like that! Especially my family members that I’d see in Wal-Mart, they’d say things like, “What’s this on yo head?” My response would always be, “I’m just not feelin’ it today!” -:-) I can’t help it to be honest with you. I just don’t feel like taking down my twists at the moment that happen to be lurking underneath my satin cap. It’s not laziness, I don’t think, it’s just my style choice or the lack there of, if you ask me.

But aye, let me tell ya somethin’ else too, don’t let me be looking ratchet in Wal-Mart, with my bonnet on my head, &  FINE man walk by, because when that happens, & yes it’s happens a lot, I honestly feel like kickin’ my own ass! It’s happened so many times too, that you’d think I would have learned my lesson with that bonnet, but nope! What can I say, I’m just a tad bit hard headed!

Lately, I’ve had to run into my mom’s office at work. The second she sees my head, she gives me like this ultimate death stare! It’s quite scary to be honest with you, but if only my mom understood the severity of my need to always be comfortable. I just want to be comfortable Lawd, IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?! Lol! A few days ago, I needed to stop by her job just to pick up a few dollars, & she gave me this stern warning before I came by. She said, “Rykia, please don’t wear that (cap) on your head!” Can people just let a sista be great? Like Jesus, what did my bonnet ever do you any of y’all?

One of these days, I’ll learn my lesson about not going into town with my bonnet on my head, but I don’t have a man, nor kids, nor a boo – thang, nor anyone coming in my DM, so until someone decides to brace with his presence & wife me, I’ll continue do just as I’m doing now. Until my future man decides to brace me, I’ll just continue to do as I always have. But you know what, maybe I should start practicing not wearing my bonnet to town & only wearing it to bed. But it’s so hard though, especially when you just plan on making quick runs to town to grocery shop or pay bills.

I personally think that someone should go ahead & wife me so I can get some “act right” with my bonnet. But until I decide to relinquish my bachelorette ways, this bonnet will forever nurture my twist that took ever so long to do.

I hope you all enjoyed this blog post, because it was just something that’s been on my mind for a long time, & I actually wear my bonnet the majority of the time that I go into Wal -mart. I’m tellin’ y’all it’s these short town visits that gets me every time.

Be blessed you all! Feel free to like & share. God Bless! 🙂


I’m Unapologetically Natural!

Since being natural, I’ve had to adjust to the pros & cons, of course, of my kinky hair. One of the most annoying cons, however, is when people, especially guys, insist that I straighten my hair.


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I use to hate this when I was little, only the majority of the time it was a straightener, not a hot comb.


At one point in my natural hair journey, this guy, who shall remain nameless for slander’s sake, insisted that I straighten my hair, simply because he didn’t approve. Mind you, I didn’t have the spunk that I have now, & I didn’t tell him that he can take that comment & stick it where the sun doesn’t shine, but aye, you all get the point. All I remember asking him was, “Why you say that?” His response was simple, “Cause you need to!” Thank Heaven that the oh so wonderful gentlemen in question has been blocked for a couple of years!

At the beginning of my natural hair journey, all I could think of was the fact that I wanted a change. I didn’t know nor did I care what the change was, I just knew that I wanted to try something different, since you all have read that I LOVE experimenting with my hair. I wanted something that I could be proud of, something that gracefully showed my African roots that I am so proud of. I wanted something that would start a ‘revolutionary movement,” within my family, so to speak. I had seen so many beautiful, African queens with natural hair, that I wanted to feel that self confidence as well. The melanin queens with natural hair that I’d seen, walked with this sort of confidence; they were proud & bold. I wanted to feel that way as well.

When people think of being ‘unapologetic,” they assume that that particular word mean rebellious, stubborn and so much more. Yet, I know & I believe that many other people know as well, that description couldn’t be any farther from the truth. Unapologetic in my culture means: fierce, self -accepting, courageous & many other words. It means that “WE” embrace our differences when other cultures or even other religions think that we should stay behind the side lines and quietly observe, so to speak.

Being unapologetically natural means that whenever I walk into a room for a job interview or a store, I know that the first thing that people are drawn to is my hair texture. I know that people are going to ask if they can touch it or what products do I use. Unfortunately, I know that being unapologetically natural, also means job discrimination as well. I know that if I walk into an corporate interview, there could be several other African American candidates with straightened hair, wigs or weaves in their heads, & I could be the only natural person in the room. However, I do like the attention, only when it comes from other ethic groups being curious and wanting to ask questions. Just a little heads up to all my Caucasian, Latino(a), Asian & etc. friends, naturals sistas WANT you to ask questions. Mind you, it can be a bit tiring having to repeat the same description of our natural hair textures to other cultures, but to tell you the truth, we would rather you ask question than assume that there’s something freaky going on in our heads. However, never touch our hair without permission! I’m just trying to let you know…

“Don’t Touch; The Realities of Being Natural”


Unapologetically natural means that we shouldn’t & don’t fear job description, even though we know that it’s a factor. Embracing what God gave us, is something that I take pride in. It’s something that I’m thankful that God has led me to embrace. I was scared to death when I go my big chop, but I’ve grown to love being natural, & that’s all there really is to it!

Never apologize for embracing your culture, regardless of what that particular culture entails.

  • Feel free to comment & share ideas! Everyone is welcome. *

How I Manage My 4C Natural Hair

So yes, I know I stated in my last post that I would hopefully try to do some interviews with some of the women in my family, by asking them how they grew up styling their hair. I will get to that one of these days, but for now, I decided that today’s post should consist of me telling/describing how I style my 4c natural hair. For those who don’t know, 4c texture, is the kinkiest, hardest to manage, in my opinion, natural hair form there is, as well as the thickest.  Oh but make no mistake, the shrinkage is so REAL!

Once my natural hair go to the point where I felt like it was long enough, I’d wash & twist it at night, and in the morning, I’d have glorious curls. However, it didn’t always work out like that. As funny as this may sound to the “non – natural hair community,” there have been times that my twist out would be absolutely terrible, which in turn would screw up my whole day. I’d always think to myself, “Whenever I get married, my husband would have to understand that sometimes I’m gonna have an attitude just because my twist out didn’t turn out right!” But aye, am I lying? I’d think absolutely not! A happy head makes for a happy woman, wouldn’t ya say?!

About a year ago, I started to notice how sometimes my hair could stop being as silky and smooth as it use to be, so I decided to do something about — let’s go to YouTube to figure out this hair malfunction! I learned so much, like the type of satin cap or rag or whatever you’d like to call, contributes the most, as far as hair smoothness is concerned. Yes, I bought the real, expensive satin caps; I didn’t want to, but there was no other choice, I thought. Even so, I would put a certain type of coconut oil or Argon oil at the end of my twists’ tips, which in turn made a huge difference.

As far as shampoo, I flip – flop between various brands, but I’ve learned that a non sulfate shampoo works for me, as well as Shea Moisture. Even the conditioner that I’d used, would play a huge part in my hair’s texture. There would be no more quick shampooing & conditioning; I’d have to take my time with the hair washing process. Yes, it was irritating, but it was completely worth the wait & all the frustrations that I endured.

Now, let’s us talk about the twisting process… Lord have mercy, is all I have to say! A little over a year ago is when I realized that even the way I twisted my hair played a huge role in how much moisture each little twist received. I use to twist my hair in really small twist, that would take nearly 2 hours to completely, but I became so frustrated, that I knew that there had to be a better way to twist my hair, so that each individual twist would receive the same amount of moisture. I had to learn to patiently put just the right amount of conditioner, curl enhancing smoothie, hair milk & etc. into each little twist. Oh, & I’d also make my twists bigger. It was brought to my knowledge, that the way my hair was parted, played a huge role as well. Putting an adequate amount of grease (Palmer’s), worked wonders for my hair & scalp. As sad & embarrassing as this may sound, I wouldn’t grease my scalp at all once I became natural, because it took so long with me having to comb my hair. I eventually had to stop being lazy, & get my hair done. Once my scalp was all greased up & parted, then it was time for the products. I used the main products mentioned above, & it works just fine, just be sure to actually comb through each parted section before applying the products; don’t do as I did, & just slap a lot of products on your parted sections, if they’re actually parted, because it won’t work. And for the love of God & all things beautiful & wonderful in this world, PLEASE TRIM/CUT YOUR ENDS! (Learned that the hard way too.)

From over a year ago till now, I’ve learned so much patience dealing with my hair. The transitioning process is long & a tad bit irritating, but it’s all worth it. My hair use to be extremely thick and hard to manage, but it’s not so anymore, & that had a lot to do with me getting a silk press from my university graduation celebration. For one, I have a big head, & my hair was WAY too thick, so I knew that I either needed to get a silk press, wear a wig or straighten my hair, which was not going to happen. A couple of weeks before my graduation, I began to search in and around the Oxford, MS area for a hairstylist who wouldn’t charge me an arm and a leg. Since Oxford, MS is a huge college town, that means that nearly everything is expensive. Luckily, I ran upon a salon called, Blessed Hands. Now other salons in Oxford were going to charge me like $75 for a silk press, which was just simply not going to happen! Blessed Hands charged me $65, which was indeed a stretch, but I was willing to go there. Anyway, the silk press turned out perfect and I was all ready for graduation. About a week after graduation, I washed my hair, & I noticed that my curl pattern had changed, for the better that is! My curls were more defined, longer and natural looking, & I absolutely loved them!

My curls now are absolutely amazing, & I love them to pieces! Once my curls were a nightmare, now, I love them with all my heart! Lol! I thought that having 4C textured natural hair was a curse, because it was so stressful to comb and detangle, but now my 4c curls are a blessing to me! 🙂


  • For the next blog, I hope to interview my little cousin, Love, who is 6 years old! Her hair is natural, of course, & for the most part, her hair is either twisted, platted or braided. I want to know what little kids now think of natural hair versus straight hair. STAY TUNED! *


The Impact of My Natural Hair In My Family

As stated at the end of my last post, I want to talk about the impact that my natural hair had on my little sister. At the age of 17, I believe, my sister started to see and understand how much my hair had actually grown from doing away with bi – weekly perms and harmful chemicals. I remember the day so vividly, my sister, stopped getting perms, & she began to grow her hair out. Then one day, we went to our Aunt Ruth’s shop, because my sister said that she wanted to get her hair chopped off. Now, let me tell ya something, at first, I was completely shocked and a tad bit amazed at the same time. She’d been talking about going natural and doing the “big chop,” but I honestly thought that she was kidding.

The day started out as any other, we all went to go visit Aunt Ruth at her shop, & low and behold, my little sister said that she was getting her hair chopped off. I was thrilled, but yet nervous, because I understood how hard it could be at the start of becoming natural. I knew that some people would talk about her hair, as if it was so sort of abomination among other things. So yeah, big sis was nervous! However, our trusted hair sidekick did her thing, as usual; she never disappoints. I remember as my Aunt Ruth was chopping away at my sister’s hair, all I could say was, “Oh my God Erica!” Even more surprising, my Aunt Ruth was able to perfectly chop all my sister’s hair off into the exact style that my sister was looking for, without any sort of picture to look at, other than my sister verbalizing her own visual details. After her hair was all chopped off into the perfect cut, I must admit, I was slick jealous. Ya see, my head isn’t as big as my sister’s, so her hair cut was more proportionate than mine was originally.

Now, me being the perfect, or so I’d like to believe, sister that I am, I had to give my sister all the natural hair tips that I could possibly think of, both before and after her “big chop.” At first my sister was a tad bit aggravated at all the details and hair care advice that I gave her, but aye, how else did she expect to have a great curl pattern?! 🙂 I told her about Cantu products and the wonders that those products did for me, & for Christmas, I even bought her a lot of Cantu products. For a while, she’d even ask me, “Aye Rykia, do you wanna twist my hair?” Lol! 🙂 Now that ladies and gents, was a proud big sissy moment. She actually wanted me to help her get to where my hair was at that particular time, & there was no way that I could have been any more prouder of my sister for the overwhelming initiative that she was taking .

Now, fast forward nearly a year & a half, and we’re (little sis & I) still learning new and effective ways to manage our hair together. To be honest, I actually sneak some of her products, especially the ones with the coconut oil infused in them. Occasionally, she’ll volunteer to get me some hair products for a cheaper price. Since she’s away at college, all of the hair products that she’s left here at the house, well, it’s all far game, & it’s been that way for a while.

To be perfectly honest, us big sisters don’t receive as much credit as we should. We’re the ones who have to make sure that our younger siblings don’t fall or stray away from our upbringing as we once did. Big sisters are the ones who are suppose to always be there no matter what, & watching my little sister transition and transform her permed hair to its natural state, has been one of the greatest blessings of my life. Regardless of what we may think or feel, our younger siblings watch & sometimes take heed to any and everything that we older siblings do. For me, knowing that my decision to go natural is what prompted her to go natural, is truly a blessing in more ways than one. There have been so many times where I felt as though I wasn’t doing a good job, as far as being older or supposedly more mature than her, but seeing her natural hair grow and transition, has been heart warming.

Myself, little sister & our mother.

It’s funny how I find myself almost begging our mom to go natural, but her response is always, ” MY HEAD IS TOO BIG!” Sometimes I’m just like bruh, “WHERE DO YOU THINK I GET MY BIG HEAD FROM?!” These conversations with my mom seem to be endless, but I’m determined to get her to go natural, even if I have to cut all of her hair off myself, MY MOTHER WILL BE NATURAL! LOL! 🙂 Y’all do know that I WILL NEVER literally cut off all my mom’s hair, right? I mean, I do like living; life is going pretty good so far! But, I would love it if one day if she’d just be like, “Okay Rykia, go on and cut it all off!” That would truly make my life, but till then, I’m stay natural, my sister’s natural hair looks great, and my mom continues to get perms, even though it irks my nerves at times! Lol!

  • Stay tuned for the next part, where I’ll be talking, hopefully, about my grandmother’s hair and how she use to do her hair, my mother’s sister’s hair transitions (hair upbringing and styling techniques.) * Disclaimer: One of my aunts is natural! 🙂 The next blog post will more than likely be more lengthy than usual, so I’ll see you all then.

Oh My Goodness! What Was I Thinking? Or So I Thought…

pure natural.jpg                                                                                Approximately  4 – 6 months after my “big chop,” I noticed that my hair had begun to lose its softness with the Cantu products. I remember being invited by one of my Spanish 102 classmates to go to a frat party, & almost immediately, I began to think about my hair. Even at 4 or maybe 6 months post “big chop,” my hair hadn’t grown that much, but there was some progress. I used my Cantu products on my hair the night of the frat party , that I didn’t end up going to. It was a mess, but still… WHATEVER, I thought. So the next day, which was Sunday (how ironic), I looked at my hair, & I honestly wasn’t feeling it. My hair looked like a big ole glob of thick, dried puffiness! I couldn’t stand it! Almost immediately after I got home, I started researching better, and possibly more affordable natural hair products.


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My mini fro, just a few months after my big chop! 


While researching, I found Shea Moisture products, & judging from the reviews the product had, Shea Moisture seemed to be a winner for me. However, Shea Moisture was nearly twice as expensive as the Cantu products I’d been accustomed to using previously. But aye, I needed something different, & I longed for something so much more different and more defined than Cantu. The products were: Shea Moisture Curl & Shine Shampoo, Shea Moisture Curl & Shine Conditioner & the Curl Enhancing Smoothie. Yes, I only bought those three because they were the only ones that I could afford at that time, but we’ll get more in depth with the affordability of the natural hair products at another time…

Now, where were we? Oh yes, Shea Moisture! Okay, well those particular products was truly a God sent straight from Heaven, I kid you not! The products made not only my hair feel and look so much better, but my self confidence was through the roof. I was literally ecstatic at how well the product worked well in my hair and how my 4c texture was absolutely perfect for the product, I felt like.

Not too long after starting the new products, did my friends and associates at Ole Miss begin to ask me what products I used for my hair. The fact that people were actually interested in little ole me, made me feel important, & that my black was beautiful. The curiosity of my hair wasn’t limited to just African Americans, but I noticed that a lot of white people began to ask me questions about my hair, which wasn’t unusual, of course, I mean they’ve always been curious about black hair. But now, the white people that I actually associated with wanted to know my hair routine, how long it took for my hair to grow, what the “big chop” meant & etc. I was actually amazed.

Now, let’s take it to nearly the end of 2015. I remember I went home for a short break, & at first my mom still couldn’t understand why I’d chosen to go natural. She gave me these funny looks whenever I’d walk by her. The look on her face was like her asking me, “Rykia, what in the world made you decide to go natural?! Lol! But aye, I love my mom though. My sister on the other hand was more curious that weirded out, so I guess that’s a plus, right? And my sister’s friend, Madison, I love her to death… Every time Madison would see me, she always pull one of my curls & say, “I love you hair!”

  • There’s not a lot to say today, so stay tuned for the impact my hair change made on my little sister, who was nearly 17 at the time. *

The cause for my “Big Chop:” let’s take it from the top…


As I  stated in blog post #1, I came up with the brilliant decision  to get highlights & then bleach the top of my hair. In this blog, you’ll find the desires for my hair. However, I never would’ve imagined that I’d go natural…

After graduating from my community college, I knew that I wanted to continue my higher education, so I was admitted into the University of Mississippi in Oxford, MS. But before transferring to the university in the Fall of 2014, I knew I wanted to try some form of protective styling, since I couldn’t/ wouldn’t have my trusted hair sidekick, Aunt Ruth, with me. My hair had become so damaged from the bleach, that I got in contact with a young lady who knew how to do protective styles, & she wasn’t going to charge me an arm and a leg, & my protective style choice was crochet braids.

I believe it was the week after the braids were installed, that I thought,” Yep, this is gonna be good!” Oh and good, yes they truly were! At my university, I honestly didn’t think that I’d find so many different hairstyles and textures. No one, no matter the colour of their skin or their nationality, had the same hair. Even more surprising, the majority of the African American students, whether male or female, had natural hair. From what I could tell, there wasn’t a permed head in site. I was amazed and astonished, because all I really knew growing up was nice, slick & permed hair, & no one in my family had natural hair at that time. But anywho, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t envy the natural heads of my fellow African American brothers & sisters. But hey, let’s go back to my protective style…

I’ve grown to love the Rebels/Blackbears of the University of Mississippi, so of course I was astonished and happy at my very first tailgating experience at the university. Everyone all dressed up in their nice red, white & blue; amazing food and people. No, yours truly had no red, white & blue, but I was determined to make my tailgating experience worth it. I remember the day so vividly, my crocheted hair was up in a top bun, & I had on this nice peached looking shirt, blue jeans, gold sandals & the biggest gold hooped earrings known to man; I was living it up, I thought. ( an actual picture of my outfit)

As I began to walk from my apartment with some friends to the tailgating event, I thought I was the complete & upmost s***; I was looking good, so I thought. Well, once we made it on campus, I actually disappointed my own self. From what I could see, all my Fellow African Americans rocked their natural hair! But aye, no hate though, RIGHT?!

When the tailgating event and game was over, & yes, the Rebels gave it to the Raging Cajuns of Louisiana, or whatever their names were, I went back to my apartment. I started thinking about all the natural heads I saw at the game, & I knew that’s what I wanted for my hair eventually. But how exactly was I going to do that with crochet braids in my head? Well, when I went to work on campus, I began to talk with one of my co-workers who had beautiful natural hair. I tried to ask all the possible questions, & then by the grace of God, she volunteered to give me some of her old natural hair products whenever I decided to do my big chop, oh and she volunteered to do my big chop for me.

So, let’s fast-forward to about 3 months later, I knew it was time to take the crochet braids out, & I was left with some new growth and permed hair. My co-worker suggested that I wait a few more months till I have more new growth, so that she could do my big chop. Yes of course, I still washed my hair, & I was left with matted, coiled hair ends. Let me tell you, walking around campus and in a city that you don’t know with different textured hair can be a bit unsettling. But once those few months were over and done with, my co- worker came to do my big chop, and LAWD WAS I NERVOUS! What would my family/parents say or think? Once the big chop was over and done, I had a miniature afro on the top of my head. At first, I was like, “What did I get my self into?” I called my mom on FaceTime to show her my small twists in my hair, & umm… her facial expression said it all! But it was all good.

My newly formed afro wouldn’t seem to grow fast enough, but I had to constantly remind myself that this “natural hair movement,” was all new to me. I wasn’t use to not having long and flowing hair, so everything was a process for me. I had no clue what type of natural hair I had: 4A, 4B or 4C. Everything was a touch and go process! Once I ran out of the products to treat my mini afro, I began the search for the perfect natural hair products for beginners. I googled and researched constantly, until someone told me that Cantu works best for new natural hair, & yes, Cantu definitely delivered, BUT…

Unfortunately, after about 6 months or so after my big chop, my new afro seemed to lose its softness, especially since my hair had grown. So, you already knew what that meant… more researching! Also, around this time, my natural hair grown so much to where I could easily tell that my hair’s texture, for the most part, was 4C. Of, yours truly began the search, once again, to find the perfect products for 4C texture. Those products were…



tamingI can remember the feeling I had when I went to my favorite hairstylist, my Aunt Ruth, to get my hair done. Twice a month, or even three times a month, myself, my mom and younger sister always got our hair done on a Friday or Saturday with absolutely no exceptions. Whether it was a simple wash and set, our hair was always “kept.” I remember like it was yesterday, my mom would more than likely go first, & then my sister & would fight/argue over which one of us got to go next. Sometimes, we would even “flip flop,” & whoever went first the last time, would have to go first that particular time and vice versa.

This little routine of ours continue well until I reached the age of maybe 12 or 13. Most of the time, when we didn’t get a perm, our hair would be in plats to preserve it. Sometimes my plats would be so thin, I could actually make them into a cute little pony tail. And most of the time, the tiny plats stayed together for almost 3 weeks. In Junior High, I noticed how all the other black girls at my school (very few), would have their hair in protective styles, like: braids and twists. Yours truly was the one whose hair was still platted. I remember one of my black friends saying, “You got them worms in yo hair!” — referring to my plats. That moment was quite defining to me, as I was able to see and hear exactly what my own race thought of my plats. I remember as it was yesterday, I began to feel so self conscience at that moment, that I thought to beg my mom for another hair style. To be honest, I thought that I was getting too old for plats anyway.

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Once I hit the age of 14, I began to get bi-weekly hair styles, mainly a wash, occasional protein treatments and a wash & set or a perm, and my hair remained down and in that style for as long as I can remember. However, once I got to the age where I could manage my own hair styles by myself, I’d always put a lot of oil in my hair to keep it silky and smooth. One time, I was out of regular hair oil, & I had no choice but to use baby oil! Aye, it got the job done, didn’t it?! My hair remained silky and smooth, & I was able to go almost three weeks, yes THREE WEEKS, without washing my hair. But, whenever I wanted a cute little hair style, my Aunt Ruth was the one to go to! No matter what, I knew I could always count on my Aunt Ruth to slay my hair for any and all special occasions, like prom; she never disappointed.

Now, let’s fast forwarded to 2012, when I was turning 18… I’d graduated from my high school in May of 2012, destined for a near by community college. Being around different people and different hair textures/styles, gave me the opportunity to experiment with my hair, & boy did I EXPERIMENT! I believe it was the second semester of my Freshman year at a community college, and I decided to get highlights; done by Aunt Ruth, of course. The highlights were absolutely perfect! Yet, with all the new growth months after the highlights, I decided to get the top of my hair bleached, & I didn’t know what I was thinking! I remember the night that I got the top of my hair bleached, I asked my Aunt Bea, “How does it look?” Her reaction was, “Uhh, it’s bright!”

Going back to school the following Monday, some of my friends loved it, while others bluntly stated their dislike of it. At the time, I was a work – study student for the Alumni Association of my community college, and one of my supervisors asked, “WHAT DID YOU DO TO YOUR HAIR?!” I thought it looked great, but apparently others thought different…